I'm not pretty and I'm not happy. But every morning I wake up. I put on my favorite outfit and I smile.

The best thing about life is the fact that I haven't met who I'm going to spend my life with yet. I also haven't started whatever career I'm going to devote my life to. There are so many awesome adventures awaiting me and although I'd love to get to them now, I'm just happy knowing that those days are still coming.
No matter how depressed I get, I'll always take a moment to think about that because some day I know that I'll smile again and I know it's worth waiting for.

School is Incredibly Dumb (Sometimes)

Everyone expects 100 percent yet nothing in life has prepared me to juggle 20 things at once.

Just a Quote From a Song That I Like

"And my love is yours but your loves not mine; So I'll go, but we know I'll see you somewhere down the line." -The Paper Kites, Featherstone

I'll probably just be posting a bunch of (even more) random, quick posts. Like quotes. I like quotes a lot.

Just Another Post

Just as a warning for anyone who reads the random things I post, I won't be posting much for quite a while. I'll try to, of course, inspiration often strikes in the middle of doing some kind of difficult or important homework. (convenient, eh?)
Anyway, I'm just saying that I'm starting volleyball on monday which is going to be taking up my afternoons and nights for the next week. Once school starts I'll be pretty much completely busy from 7 am until I pass out around 11 pm. I really have to put a lot of time in because I'll be an executive in possibly 3 groups and homework and sports and senior year and...ugh. I don't want to even think of all of this right now. I just want to sleep.
So, just a warning. My posts won't happen often, but I'll try to keep up!

Making a Difference

There's a point for everyone where the stress just gets to them.
They wake up feeling hopeless and go to sleep feeling hopeless. They smile because society expects them to and they laugh because there's no better way to make people believe that they're happy.
As much as "take it one day at a time" works right before someones breaking point, afterwards one day may simply feel like too much.
You only see what someone wants you to see and that may not be how they're really feeling. In fact, sometimes the happiest person in the room. The one who laughs the most. The one who smiles but for whatever reason, doesn't really talk much may be the one in the room who is hurting the most. The one who goes home and just tries to bring themselves to smile. Just for one more day, they'd say. After that day, they'll be happy again. Happy for real.
So, whether someone LOOKS happy, sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, or anything just be nice. Smile at someone you've never met, say hello to someone standing near you or walking past you, compliment someone just because that shirt looks amazing on them and they probably don't even realize it.
The littlest thing can make the biggest difference in someone else's life.

The Internet

I just spent about 20 minutes attempting to understand tumblr, which, for whatever reason, EVERYONE I know spontaneously began using.
Despite everyone I know apparently being on there somewhere, I only managed to find one person I knew and I couldn't seem to understand what to do about that. So, since I've failed miserably for about the 10th time, I've come back here to complain about it.
It seems I can't learn new things about the internet. I just kind of stick to what I know which basically include Facebook, Netflix and Neopets.
My conclusion? I'm a sad excuse for a teenager.
That is all.

I'm a really quiet and awkward person and I just don't socialize well

My mom talks to everyone like she's known them for years and my dad and sister have this skill of talking all day and still not running out of things to say. Then theres me, I know how to listen. I know how to pretend like I'm listening. And I know how to nod my head and say "yeah" or some short response. I don't know how to have a conversation and I certainly don't know how to keep a conversation going. Sure I have a lot to say, obviously, but it's not immediately that way. I'm the kind of person you have to get to know before you decide you wish you'd never met me because I never stop talking. This only happens once I've known you for, like, ever though.
I'm also not very outwardly emotional. I'm not saying I've never felt like throwing a table through a wall or locked myself in my room and refused to talk to anyone, but I'm also not saying I'm always like that. I mean, I can smile and I can laugh and that's usually what I stick to but when I'm not with a friend I have this face. Said face apparently makes me look depressed but, really, it's just my face.

Food!

I really like food and I honestly don't think I could ever choose being super duper skinny and "beautiful" over 3 meals a day. It's not like I want to be fat or anything, and it's not like everyone who is skinny doesn't eat food... It's just that theres so many people out there who suffer just to fit some stereotype that is the furthest thing from accurate I can think of at the moment.
Every size, shape, weight, and person is beautiful, no matter if they enjoy an ice cream cone for a snack or a salad.

Singing

So, I find that every time I'm in someones car and theres some awesome song playing that I'll sing along but I'll purposely sing terribly.
It's the best way to hide whether or not your voice is really terrible. I guess the only downside would be people who don't realize that you're singing terribly on purpose?

Alarm clocks hate me

For some reason I can't wake up to alarms. It probably has something to do with the end of the school year being near and the weather being nicer (Except the snow, what they heck is that doing here still?). So my solution?
Move my alarm across my room in order to force myself to GET UP out of bed in order to shut the stupid thing off.
The only problem I see with that is the possibility of me just sleep walking across my room, turning it off, falling back in bed and falling right back to sleep. This could either be a complete success or a total disaster.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy

The other day I was reading this thing and it said that these people asked their teacher what the purpose of life was and the teacher said "math"

Later, they realized that, if you number the alphabet....
(A=1 B=2 C=3 etc.)
M= 13
A= 1
T= 20
and
H=8
13+1+20+8= 42

Tic Tac's

My favorite thing about Tic Tac's is when you've eaten the whole box and it's depressing and you look in the top part which you can't really see and theres 2 still stuck there and you're just like "I'm not out! This is the best day of my life!"
Well, maybe it's not that exciting. Though it really is pretty exciting.

And just so we're clear here, Tic Tac's are my favoritest thing ever. (:

Roosevelt

"It is fun to be in the same decade with you."
Said by Franklin Delano Roosevelt to Winston Churchill.
It may be the most amazing thing EVER said. I'm not so sure what makes it so fantastic, it just is.

The Never Ending Name

I have no middle name. Which is always a shocking fact to darn near everyone for some unexplainable reason. Once in elementary school, there was a substitute (or student teacher, maybe) who said he could guess ANYONES middle name. So, naturally, I asked him to guess mine. After spending 10 minutes, he told me to just tell him. Feeling proud of myself, I said "none", when he seemed confused, I continued with "I have no middle name." He told me that wasn't fair.
Anyways, once I tell someone I don't have a middle name, they say "Oh!! I'll give you one." So... After a while, here's what happened (Including nicknames):

Morning star Mia Phillis Ani James Charlie Philadelphia Harrison Ford Technology girl
Only a few days ago it was simply Morning star Ani Charlie Philadelphia Harrison Ford (Which I think sounded slightly better, oh well! :P)

Want to know where each name came from?
Morning star: Tashia's Dad
Mia: That's my Spanish name
Phillis: Tashia and James
Ani: My parents
James: Forrest, Taylor, and Josh
Charlie: Myself
Philadelphia: Heather
Harrison: My parents
Ford: Lyric
Technology girl: James

I'm sure someone will want to add something to it since it seems to be never ending.

Teleportation

I am successfully doing absolutely nothing productive. In fact, I may as well be counterproductive right now.
The only thing I've managed to get done is studying Spanish. Lucky for me I can afford to be a little lazy today because it seems the teachers have all decided that no homework was a fantastic idea. (It really is.) Though usually a day of minimal homework means that tomorrow there will be homework in every class times two. Which will be super duper fun.

I wish that the technology existed to teleport packages. So, if you were to order pants or something online you only had to wait five seconds for it to arrive. The only problem then would be that people would complain even about that small amount of time. "Ugh, I have to wait FIVE seconds. UPS gets it done in 2, why is Fed ex so slow??" Just like if everyone had cake all the time, no one would ever want to see cake again.
And if teleportation could exist, why not portals? I know I'd be the first to organize a real life game of portal 1 and 2. It would be absolutely fantastic and terrifying.

Small Schools

Small schools is terrible. Just for clarification, small schools is this festival in which a whole bunch of small schools send their bands to one school and we all sit in incredibly uncomfortable chairs for hours listening to or playing music that is either under our skill level or we don't bother having a musical skill level at all. You then perform with all of these people in front of an audience. And although it sounds good from a distance, those people watching could never understand how terrible it is to be in those hard metal chairs.
I mean, sure you meet new people which is awesome and of course you get to play your instrument all day (which can be good or bad, depending on which instrument and if you're in band because you love it or because you just want an "easy" class.) but there are so many people that don't listen or can't count even if their life depended on it.

And my friends from the last two years weren't there this year. :(
Needless to say, I just can't wait for small schools next year. Who knows, maybe I'll enjoy it my Senior year?

Happy late valentines....?

Love is stupid and it sucks.
Seriously, what is it even for? Reproductive purposes? Awesome. That's exactly like all those stupid love movies.
Someone once told me that movies weren't real and as much as I know they aren't real, it was like a slap in the face. I mean, we grow up watching them and waiting for those absolutely beautiful and romantic T.V. loves to come true for ourselves and they don't. They never will. I mean, seriously, Disney, stop ruining my hopes and dreams.
Not that I'm being down on it or anything. I just figured I'd write a Valentines day post a few weeks late.

I chose my job over Tennis. As much as I wish there were two of me (as Spencer see's it there should be three, Evil Ani, Nice Ani, and just Ani. Evil Ani should play Tennis because she'd be ruthless, Nice Ani should go to school and do all of the school work and Just Ani should tutor. Because Ani loves to tutor. I'll stop there because I'm starting to talk in third person.) there are not two of me and therefore I had to choose between two things I love. And I chose my job. Which just makes it impossible to hear people talk about how much they love Tennis. :c (Though I'm glad they're having fun!!)

I've been considering attending running start at CWU next year. Actually that was just today because Jacqueline started talking about it while taking me home. Apparently, at CWU, no one knows you aren't a college student.

I don't have much interesting to say, in fact most of what I say is useless and I tend to ramble I guess.
If I was famous, no one would think I was rambling.

The stress monster

Stressstressstress. 

That's the one thing on my mind right now... If you were to imagine that it would be some sort of monster, probably blue, ripping apart everything in sight and then hiding it EVERYWHERE. 

Under pillows, beds, on the ceiling, outside somewhere, literally anywhere you wouldn't think to look for it. And then you'd have me wandering around after it attempting to pick up the pieces and make sense of what I've been trying to cram into my brain since September, hoping to whatever it is I believe in that I'll somehow be able to pick up the mess this stress monster has created.

He's a real jerk. I'll draw him sometime and present you people with a visual. Assuming I'm actually typing this for someone to read instead of into some black hole, never to return. Man, I hope someone reads this or else I'd probably be considered a little crazy... No, I'm sure someone reads this. It's too awesome not to. 

That's all I have to say, back to not procrastinating. Or at least pretending not to procrastinate... 

Not my best idea

I left my iPad in a friends car yesterday night after a dance. Just now her mother returned it and it was freezing cold. So I put it in my shirt which seemed like an accurate solution.
It doesn't feel any warmer and now I'm cold too.